Would you say that a long distance relationship can be one big emotional mess? You are overexcited when you meet, somewhat frustrated when your Skype call was cancelled. And you don’t know what the heck happens with you the moment she/he departs. You simply cannot control yourself no matter that this has happened before and you thought that you learned how to handle it the last time. This circle of emotions just keeps happening over and over again. Since it is not going anywhere, why don’t we take closer look at the 5 stages of a long distance relationship.
This begins shortly before the separation. Both of you categorically refuse to even think about the idea that you won’t be able to see/touch/feel the other one. You can logically understand what is coming, yet you choose to make it taboo. I believe Freud would call this defense mechanism repression – when an idea is too painful, you simply restrain it from conscious awareness. Why spoil the happiness, right?
This manifests itself in one of two extremes. You either become over emotional (usually sad), or you can’t really comprehend what is happening. Some people cry, some laugh hysterically. This doesn’t last very long – only up to days.
Psychologists define depression as a constant state of low mood that affects one’s behaviors, feelings and thoughts. Not to be confused with psychological disorders (e.g. major depression) which are serious things. Basically, you feel sad all the time, and sometimes it is hard to force yourself to get things done. This may last a couple of weeks, but it doesn’t have to. What really helps to alleviate this LDR sadness is nice chat with your loved one.
As time passes by, you form a routine. You still get the occasional blues, but you have learned to distract yourself. What could go wrong is you getting to deep into those distractions. Worst case, you might end up forgetting to even contact your partner. We all know that being apart is stressful on it’s own and paying less attention to your crush might just become a spark for a conflict.
Your meeting day approaches and you can’t stop the excitement which slowly builds up in you until you become overwhelmed. It reaches its climax minutes before you meet. Now that you are together you once again enter the same state where you refuse to even think that you might have to separate soon. And the cycle continues.