college ldr

College LDR. How to make it work?

So you just moved to college, yet your significant other is somewhere else? You want to talk to her, but there is this party next door, oh yeah, and you also need to study. Not sure how to manage all of it?  For this reason I have prepared some tips for you on how to balance your college LDR and your college life and still make the most of both!

Some motivation!

If it helps… you are definitely not the only one with this struggle – 1 in 3 college relationships are long distance (32.5% to be exact). To add more 75% of all engaged couples have at some point been in an LDR. Numbers don’t lie – it’s doable.

Get your priorities straight/balance

College is about you growing and getting new experiences. I know that you want to talk to your crush all the time (been there myself), but let me tell you about a girl I met. She was living with her boyfriend and they would spent a lot of time together. She missed a chance to go on an exchange semester, just so she could stay with him. You most probably guessed it right, this was not the only thing she missed out on because of him. Long story short, she got full of regrets and that relationship ended.

What I want to say is don’t go to the extremes. Don’t spend all of your time either partying (studying) or on Skype. What you could do, is set some time that fits both of your schedules, let’s say 2-3 hours everyday, and talk then. Add some occasional texts, shorts chats to the mix and you will have a great day. Allow yourself to get your “college experience”. The new people you meet, insights you get, new skills you learn will make sure that you stay an interesting conversation partner. And that is important for the dynamics your long distance relationship.

Find distractions. No need to get fixated on your college LDR

At times you will feel lonely or even homesick. It might happen, that your significant other is busy that day and cannot comfort you. For these moments you need friends. Sports, study groups, pin pong buddies, overnight conversations, pizza parties everything works. Your social circle is the most important thing you take from college. I believe it might be more important than knowledge. The process of finding friends alone will greatly affect your mood. Moreover, get some new hobbies. It is way better to spend your alone time doing something productive, rather than stuck on Youtube watching LDR videos.

Frequent visits (at her school)

Try to visit each other as often as possible. Make use of study breaks, maybe some longer periods where you don’t have lectures. Get acquainted with cheap bus/airlines, catch special offers. Of course don’t make traveling a financial burden. Especially, for one of the sides. A good idea is to visit each other at school. You want your crush’s friends to get to know you and to connect with them. This way the next time you are Video-chatting you might ask questions like “how’s Mike?”. Also, her friends will be more understanding if she decides to skip a party just so she could chat with you.

Make common plans

This is important for 2 reasons. First, you have something to look forward to. It might be a small thing like the 2 of you going to Florida for the summer. Or something bigger, like culminating your college LDR by moving in together after graduation. Secondly, assuming you intend on having a common future at some point, you need to learn to work as a team. The best thing to do that is by making decisions together.

Be a normal boyfriend/girlfriend

Long distance relationships are not that different from normal relationships. You need to make sure that your significant other is feeling fine. Be there for her/him when she/he needs you. But also understand that she/he may not always be able to help you right now.

Consider your college LDR an investment. You are doing this for a better future. Encourage each other. Be proud when the other one gets a god grade and offer some advice when the she/he is stuck on an assignment. And if it just so happens, that maintaining your your long distance relationship gets tricky. You can find plenty of tips on this blog 😉
Cheers! 🙂
LDR partner has no time for you

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